Living a half life: Living with an Undiagnosed Chronic Illness

Elsie LMC,

Living a half life

Empty

Yet even

Injected with necessities

All that I know

Scarce of normality.

Living a half life

Lonely

Yet loved

By those I’ve held on to

Before this started

So long ago

The clutch is invisible

Wish I could see it

Wish I could learn it

Introduce unfamiliarity.

Hi everyone! How are you today? I wrote this last night when I felt like everything I usually push to the back of my mind in the day came rushing forward and hit home. It is about shyness (social anxiety in the past) and how chronic pain stops me from being able to get through it and so nothing changes and I feel like I live a half life stuck inside. I wish I could meet new people and I always feel embarrassed to say that. I’ve started my home course and I’m happy with how the work is going but I don’t feel like anything I ever do is good enough because its nothing compared to the life I would be living if I wasn’t unwell but then I can’t say that because I would still be shy so I don’t know. I was nervous to post this here but then I thought maybe some of you can relate and the slight possibility of that made me share it with you.

Thank you for reading! 😉💗 Have a lovely day! 

32 Comments

    1. Thank you so much! I’m hoping this is just a standstill moment in my life and it will pick up when I get better and I can work at meeting people because I don’t even feel like my nerves would stop me then 😂 thank you for your kindness 💗

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words!💗 It’s not even the social anxiety part that stops me anymore, it’s my chronic pain. I feel like if my pain wouldn’t stop me I would fight my nerves and just do it but as of now I don’t know where to start 🙁 hope you’re having a lovely day 💗

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      1. Well I don’t suffer from chronic pain but I do suffer from depression and it always cause me to want to give up. I might not how painful it is for you, but despite your pain try to keep moving forward. The best is yet to come! Good luck!!

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      2. I’m so sorry to hear that you suffer from depression, you’re right we shouldn’t give up whilst things are out of our control as one day it will be okay, thank you I really appreciate it 💗

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  5. I don’t live with chronic pain and won’t pretend I understand the difficulties it brings, but wanted to let you know I’d read and hope you can continue to get through them. Don’t forget to five yourself credit and praise for what you do manage and the things you have acheived despite the pain and the things you’ve done and understand because of it xxx

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    2. Thank you so much for your kind words they honestly mean a lot. I keep reminding myself that this time last I would never have imagined I would be here today with both good and bad (the good being this blog). You’re right, I need to find positives in any way possible and hold on to them. Hope you’re having a lovely day 💗

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