*Today’s post is late thanks to storm Eunice! There has been no electricity or signal all day so I’m hoping this goes up okay now it’s back 🙌.
Hey guys, I hope you’re all okay or as close as possible to being so 💗. I wasn’t expecting to have to say this but I’m going to be taking a blogging break until the 4th of March (random but you know Fridays are my thing 🤣). I was recently clued in as to what has been causing my chronic pain all these years and I’d always have thought that although it it would be a shock, it would also be a happy time for me but to get to this point it’s showing itself in a really bad neck spasm and a headache. I didn’t know when I’d get to type out this post but early mornings seem to be my best shot with a clear mind as the muscles relax whilst I sleep so after waking up I’m a bit scared to move and have them set off again 😅. I know that when the day gets going I’ll regret not having this announcement ready to go as I won’t get a chance to write again until tomorrow morning when I feel a moment of clearness like this.
Even tho I didn’t want to have to take a break it’s the right thing to do as like I mentioned in my last post, things don’t happen in halves do they!? 😂 It’s been one event after another and 2022 has been full of them so far which leads me on to saying that my sister is a lot better since I asked for your well wishes a short while ago!! 🙌✨ It’s lovely to see her up and about again so that’s getting me through right now! It’s very much like we’re dropping like flies but we get back up! (Which is a horrible metaphor if it can even be called one 🤣).
I’ve waited the majority of my life for a diagnosis and now that it’s come I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting but also deflecting because it feels really weird to have this pain validated and understood, I’m not used to that. It’s a relief and not at the same time if that makes sense because I’ve been so emotional and upset despite finally getting answers. I’m fed up with this flare and it’s just annoying knowing that when it goes another will take its place and I hate that but I’m hoping there will be a brief stint where there is respite in-between moving on. Beforehand I’d been thinking knowing a name would somewhat cure it all which feels stupid now but I need to keep in mind that knowing a name does lead me in the right direction of knowing how to cope and deal with what’s going on.
I don’t want to write about what it is exactly yet as I’d much rather do that when this pain moves elsewhere because a diagnosis is something I’ve been waiting for and I don’t want it to just slip out when I’m not even fully in the right headspace for those words to come. What I will say is that everything makes sense now including each different bout of pain and the smaller known sideline conditions I was told would accompany whatever this would be. It all ties in and I don’t even know if it’s a good depiction of what I’m feeling but I’ll say it anyway, I’m gobsmacked 😂.
In terms of this break I will most definitely be back because I’ve got some blogging commitments on the way 😏 and even tho at the height of the pain I feel like nothing will get done, that doesn’t mean in times of being settled I’m not filled with ideas and thoughts of what I want to tell you, I’ll let those thoughts be known soon enough! ✨🤣
Anyway I can kind of feel it coming back on now so I’m going to have to go but I just wanted to pop in to give an update on things. It’s a good time because I’ve got answers and with that comes a slight respect as the not knowing has been painful in itself for so long and it’s a bad thing because of the pain itself and the emotions that keep trying to fight their way to the top and I fear letting them do so incase I tense up more and trigger the headache (but another good thing is that the headache is being pulled on by the neck pain so if it’s about relaxing then I keep getting told it’s only right to let those tears out – Fear wins a lot because I’m a bit very stubborn tho 😅).
Alright! Thank you for being so supportive during these mad times, it means more than words (or maybe just I 😂) could ever express. I hope that if you’re going through a crazy time right now as well then you know that you’re not alone, I couldn’t imagine what it is exactly you’re going through but there are still nice times to be had. They often feel like they get overpowered but they’re always there waiting to be found. I hate myself for making it sound easy because it’s not but we’ll get through it. Take care & stay safe. All the best until I see you again and I hope you’re able to have a lovely day! ✨💛xx
Ps: okay so “lovely day” definitely contradicts how to feel right now but in all honesty my family and friends are getting me through and they are the difference between what is lovely and what is not so it is still very much possible! Right, now I’ll go for real, buh-bye! 😂🌊
Elsie LMC 
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