Things change so fast 💫

Hi everyone! It feels really weird to be back typing a blog post again 😅. How are you doing?? I’ve missed this place so much 💗. A lot has happened since I left, so much that it feels like I was on a break for way longer than starting on the 21st of March. The most significant thing that came as a huge shock is that my beautiful dog Ruby passed away on the 5th of May.

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I’ll never forget Ruby, we had her for over a decade and I truly thought of her as my baby. She was so goofy and loving. I had gotten it into my head that she wasn’t as old as she was and that we had more time with her but no. Over an emotional space of time I got to say goodbye and I genuinely feel like she’s out there with our old dog Heidi who she learned so much from and Skirtsey our cat (can’t remember if they liked each other but oh well 😂). The house feels empty without her and my other dog Toby is missing her immensely. Nothing feels the same so I guess there will be a new normal from now on. I have nothing but love for Ruby and her memory will live on 💕.

Over a week ago I had surgery to have my wisdom teeth out (the bottom two) and it went well! I didn’t know I was being put to sleep which I had thought would be optional but it turned out to be a full scale surgery where I’m left with loads of stitches so I’m glad I wasn’t awake for that one! 😂. If anyone has any soft food recipes that are a mirage of the complete opposite please send them my way, I’d be forever grateful 🙌😊.

On the other side of that experience it hurt to speak for a while which didn’t stop me (although it should have) so I thought, why not write again! 🌊 Back when I envisioned returning from my break I had all these ideas and felt like I could write until I dropped but now that Ruby’s gone I feel kind of knocked off kilter a bit. It’ll take time for me to regain what I feel I had or recreate a new way of looking at things and until then I figured it’s not good to wait for that moment to appear, I should just go for something I know that’s good for me: being a part of this community again! 😆

Regarding my chronic pain I’m still heading in the direction of finding a diagnosis and I feel like I’m on the right path with each nugget of information I am told. The pain can be so overwhelming each day, whether it arrives in the form of a migraine, breathing difficulties or burning throughout my arms and legs. Despite the latter of those symptoms beginning after I had a horrible reaction to a flu jab back in 2019, I have decided after much thought that when the call came yesterday, I will be having my covid vaccine next week! It was initially a scary thought but I want to do it to protect my family and I feel like I’d react much worse to covid itself if that were to come along being high risk so it’s for the best.

In keeping with the idea of this post being about change, my perception of what I feel is personally the right thing to do regarding the vaccine has for sure done just that! Although it might sound like an easy path to take, it took a while to get my mind in that place of saying yes whilst physically feeling the way I do. Through it all I know that one day I’ll have the answers I deserve as to why I feel this pain, I’m sure of it and until then I’ll keep pushing forward through the ups and downs of it all.

I had forgotten how much of an outlet having a blog can be through just taking the time to speak about what’s going on. I originally decided to take a break because of an odd flareup I was having that made it difficult for me to work around words. I’d be constantly repeating myself when reading before giving up entirely and even though I’m partly still living that, it’s gotten to the point where I can work around it and not get as het up about it. Having Ruby leave has made me see a lot of things differently, I’ve realize how fast things can change. She was by my side since I was a kid and I’m not going to give up on things that her company built me up for. There’s nothing like loss to make you see what you’ve got in life. I thought I knew but only by overlooking the one thing I never considered losing at all.

Anyway, now that I’m back I’m switching up my blog schedule (from every 4th day) because a part of me feels like I’ll end up forgetting a day here and there 🙈 so to avoid that future disappointment with myself, for now I plan on posting every Friday!! 🎉 I chose then because it both ends the week (albeit not officially) and starts the weekend (even tho in these pandemic days it all feels the same 🤣). Let me know in the comments below what you’ve been up to! Has anything changed for you lately?(aside from this crazy world we live in 🤯). I hope to see you around and am looking forward to chatting with you all again! Here’s to being a determining factor in change and making incredible things happen, life is too short for it to be any other way ✨. Until we meet again, thanks for being here today! Stay safe & take care 💗