I’m scared

I’m scared 

Scared about all the wasted moments when I could have been with you

I’d rarely be the stroppy me and say no to spending time with you

but I still did it.

You’re always there

We’ve forgotten there was a time we would have thought you’d be taken away.

Instead taken you for granted.

I’m scared that even though there are no signs of you going that life is going

Life is going too fast 

Lucky to have it but I feel like I ruin it by thinking.

Memories of wasted times come drifting back when we could be smiling

we are smiling now. Everyday. But it goes too fast and soon I’m looking back on it.

I’m scared

That you will go

I don’t know what I would do

I used to make silly little plans. Scary plans.  

If I were to think of them again they would falter. 

Once upon a time they were set in stone, something has most definitely changed.

But still

I don’t know what I would do without you.

I’m scared.

Hi everyone! I don’t know what to say about this poem (if it can be called one 😂) I wrote it one night about my mum when I was really sad and frightened and as soon as I did I felt at ease. She’s in a healing stage that she will be in for the rest of her life and not in a waiting one like she was for years before she received her kidney but It’s just scary to think of what could happen and it makes me want to cry because I love her so much. I felt better in writing this and of course not hiding it behind positivity here and pretending it’s always okay in my mind because it’s not and I want to be honest with you on this blog. I’m feeling okay about it now but sometimes it comes back and I’m at a loss. Thank you for reading! 💗 Hope you’re having a lovely day!